Parents of Scott Herr offer heartfelt thanks to community

For more than eight uninterrupted hours at their son Scott’s wake, Joe and Linda Herr never once sat down, nor did they ever leave their place at the head of the receiving line alongside their oldest son Joey.

Instead, with equal parts sadness and amazement, they stood there all afternoon and evening as hundreds upon hundreds of Scott’s friends, neighbors, classmates, teachers, teammates — even opponents — came to offer their condolences along with a handshake or a hug, with many of them braving the cold to do so in a long line that stretched out into the parking lot and down the adjacent sidewalk.

The Herrs, in return, shared a moment with each one of them, and in some cases, it was Linda or Joe who did the consoling rather than the other way around.

“That was the least we could do for those people who came there,” said a grateful Joe Herr, who described the turnout at the wake as “unbelievable,” even for someone as young as Scott.

Just 18 when his life was suddenly taken in a car crash early on New Year’s Day, Scott was, by all accounts, a model student and citizen — intelligent, athletic, and just about as friendly as they come. He also had deep community roots, having grown up his entire life at the same Roberts Road home and having just graduated from Canton High School after 13 years in the Canton Public Schools.

To his parents, Scott had always been special. Yet Joe and Linda said they had no idea until the past few weeks just how much he meant to those around him — how a “regular” kid from Canton was able to touch so many lives in such a short time — and it is this amazing legacy of his, which seems to be growing by the day, that the Herrs fully admit are keeping them afloat during this otherwise unbearable period of mourning and loss.

In fact, at a time when they could be as selfish as they want and no one would mind, the Herrs simply cannot stop thinking about all of the incredible acts of kindness and generosity that have been done in their son’s honor. Overwhelmed by all of the support, the couple shared but a few of these countless examples in a recent interview at their home, and, in doing so, they attempted to shed some light on why the Canton community, which had always held a special place in their hearts, means even more to them now than it ever had before.

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The way Linda Herr figures it now, she and her husband had always been “too close to the forest to see the trees.”

Perhaps that could explain why the two of them had always believed that Scott, despite being arguably one of the most popular kids in his class, “only had a few friends.”

Of course, Scott had always been a different kind of popular — respected by all yet seemingly immune from peer pressure. One just had to look no further than the classic “bowl” hairstyle he sported from the earliest ages until his fall semester at Northeastern. Part of that, according to Joe, was that he hated change, but he also had a fiercely independent streak, as well as a quiet confidence, that guided his decision making throughout even the most vulnerable periods of his life.

Scott was also incredibly thoughtful, something that his parents witnessed firsthand on numerous occasions, but perhaps most recently when they congratulated him for making the dean’s list in his first semester of college, and he became upset — not because he didn’t want them to know, but because he had wrapped up his report card and had intended to give it to them as a gift on Christmas morning.

These were all the “little things” that were readily apparent to his parents, but Joe and Linda were truly surprised to learn how many others saw this side of Scott as well. And it became clear, they said, from the moment that word of his tragic accident reached Canton, when the letters, the cards, the photos, the donations, began flooding in from seemingly everywhere.

“The outpouring has just been humbling,” said Joe, “and that’s why we just can’t thank people enough.”

They struggled with finding the right words, for instance, to properly thank Tyler Gavigan, an 18-year-old CHS senior and one of Scott’s former baseball teammates, who stopped by the house unannounced to present the Herrs with a baseball signed by all of the members of their state champion Junior League team, which made it all the way to the regional competition in New Jersey when they were 13 and 14.

They struggled to explain just how much it meant to receive a heartfelt letter from a kid who stayed in Canton only a few years — a kid who struggled to fit in yet described Scott as his “best friend.” Linda said it had been years since the two of them were close, which made the letter all the more touching.

The Herrs then really struggled when it came to thanking Brian Fitzgerald and his staff at Dockray and Thomas Funeral Home who, in the process of bending over backwards, volunteered to drive to Buffalo, New York, where Scott had been killed, to ensure his body was safely brought home to rest.

And the list goes on for miles: classmates Kevin Ward and Lauren Cortizo for organizing a touching vigil and slideshow; the Squirt B coach who never had Scott but still used his story as inspiration before a recent hockey game; Northeastern University for packing up Scott’s belongings and driving them to Canton.

Even the rival Stoughton High hockey team reached out, arriving at the wake en masse to pay their respects to a fellow competitor.

“Scott was all about team and sportsmanship,” said Joe, “and it was just a nice reflection for that moment for two rivals — Canton and Stoughton — to come together for Scott.”

Meanwhile, many of Scott’s own teams have come up with ways to honor his memory, including the Bulldogs, who hung up his hockey jersey on the wall at Canton Rink and are now wearing his No. 5 on their helmets, or his NU wiffleball team, which is planning a charity game in Scott’s honor to be played in the coming spring.

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Two weeks after burying their youngest son, the Herrs were still taking life “hour to hour,” and planned to do so for the foreseeable future.

But in that process of slowing down, both Joe and Linda have developed an even greater appreciation for the town they have always loved. From the fire and police departments to the schools, to the DPW and the cemetery workers, it seemed like every group in Canton was willing to do whatever they could to ease the family’s burden.

Equally amazing were all of the donations that poured in for a scholarship that the Herrs had set up in Scott’s name. Although the donations came from everywhere, the bulk of them came from Canton residents; and they are still coming, according to Linda.

“It’s just above and beyond what we even could have thought,” she said. “It’s just growing every day.”

Joe said they now have enough money to help multiple Canton students over multiple years, and they feel privileged to be able to give back in this way, just as Scott would have wanted.

In many ways that can be his ultimate legacy: helping other deserving kids — kids like him — move on to the phase of life that he had only just begun. As Joe put it, with Scott, “There was no part two, but he had a great part one.”

And while there will never be another Scott Herr, his father knows firsthand that “great kids are the rule in Canton, not the exception.”

“That’s just the town that we live in,” he said with a smile. “Great parents and great kids.”

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Posted by Jay Turner on Feb 4 2010. Filed under Features, News. Both comments and pings are currently closed.