Guest Column: Gary Titus
By Canton CitizenGuest columnist Gary Titus begins his three-part series this week chronicling his struggle with food addiction and obesity that subsequently led to his decision to undergo successful gastric bypass surgery a year ago.
By Gary Titus
Saturday, January 10, 2009: I’m 51 years old and weigh 321 pounds. I’ve been morbidly obese for at least 35 years. Diets, you name it, I’ve done it. I’d lost more than 50 pounds at least a half-dozen times in my adult life only to gain the weight back and then some. You may be thinking: Why not just maintain a proper diet and exercise program? Well, that’s just not my M.O. Obesity runs in my family and I got the whole package, appetite and all. I began researching bariatric surgery about four months ago. I had spoken to my wife about it and she said, “Absolutely no way.” So, I proceeded to follow a low-carb diet and a regular exercise program. I went from 321 lbs. to 250 lbs. I was feeling great, but it wasn’t long before I fell off the wagon and started to slowly gain the weight back. I went back to my bad eating habits, and exercise went from the top to the bottom of my schedule. My weight gain and frustration were crippling me.
Getting to 321 pounds actually took a lot of work. It took a lot of mindless eating. Have you ever sat in front of the TV with a large bag of popcorn or potato chips, a box of cookies, or a pint of ice cream? Of course you have. But do you do it all at the same time? Well, that’s my M.O. I became a habitual nighttime closet eater years ago. Working nights left me with a lot of alone time. The portions grew out of control, probably since I moved out of my family’s house at age 18. Even before that I always ate everything on my plate and then some. I was always a member of the double lunch club in high school, and I always knew where my mom kept the stash of treats. I can analyze it many ways, but the bottom line is that I am a compulsive overeater. Portions and servings were not a part of my eating vocabulary; bags, boxes, and dozens were. My M.O worked fine when I was single and living alone, but after I got married I became more ashamed of my overeating.
On a typical binge I could walk into a fast food joint or a convenience store and load up in no time at all, dropping $10 to $20. My food (or drug) of choice has always been sweets. I have never met a sweet I didn’t like. Chocolate, peanut butter, ice cream, and cookies — I love them all, and all at the same time. A normal purchase at 7-Eleven was a pint of Ben & Jerry’s peanut butter cup ice cream, a couple of large packs of peanut butter Twix, and a couple of Mrs. Fields soft cookies. I always managed to eat half on the ride home, and then the other half downstairs alone in front of the TV while everyone slept upstairs. I became good at hiding the empty pints, wrappers, and packages. Not only did I not want my wife to see them, I didn’t want to see them the next day either. The guilt hurts a lot. Besides the obvious weight gain, I got pretty good at hiding my habit from others. But even if nobody else ever knew, I did, and I was ashamed.
So let’s call it like it is: “Hi, I’m Gary, and I’m a food addict.” The good news, I’m sober today, and I now deal with it one day at a time.
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