Family & friends mourn the loss of beloved Canton native, mom of 3

“I can’t complain.”

While it may have seemed unusual coming from someone with stage 4 breast cancer, those who knew Patty (Molis) Desrochers were never surprised when they heard it.

Patty Desrochers (Courtesy of Walter Molis)

Instead, they were mostly just amazed — amazed that she could endure so much pain yet still be so selfless, that she could talk the talk yet somehow also walk the walk.

“She didn’t want to [complain] because she just kept thinking, ‘I’m going to beat this,’” recalled Karin Sullivan, a lifelong friend who grew up in the same Canton neighborhood as Patty. “She had some days where she struggled with pain, but more than anything she was just frustrated [with the worsening symptoms] despite the fact that she tried so hard.”

It is this fighter’s spirit, combined with her grace and kind heart, that Sullivan said she will remember most about her friend and “superhero,” who passed away September 30 due to complications from the disease, surrounded by many loved ones.

Just 52 years old and the mother of three girls, Patty, according to Sullivan, “made the most out of the time she had,” loving and giving so much to others and touching countless lives along the way.

In her adopted hometown of Raynham, Patty was both beloved and well-known, weaving herself into the fabric of the community as a hostess at Stoneforge restaurant and as the longtime director of religious education at St. Ann’s Church. She also proved to be something of a super-mom, working sometimes four jobs at a time yet still finding time to be a constant presence in her daughters’ lives — all while undergoing grueling cancer treatments.

“She never complained about it, that’s the big thing,” said Patty’s father, Walter Molis, a longtime Canton resident. “With all the things going on — wrestling with the cancer and taking on several jobs just to keep them going — she did such a good job and she’s got three beautiful girls.”

Today, Patty’s girls are all successful young women. Kellie, 23, graduated from Harvard a few years ago and is currently working in the Manhattan district attorney’s office; Erin, 22, just graduated from Suffolk University and is hoping to become a nurse practitioner; and Molly, 17, is a scholar and top track athlete at Bridgewater-Raynham High School.

Although a single mother for much of their childhood, Patty also became lucky in love about five years ago, when she met Marty DeMille — described by her father as a “godsend” and her mother, Peg, as the “greatest guy living.”

DeMille had actually met Patty while she was in remission, but less than a year after they started dating the couple received the devastating news that the cancer had returned, metastasizing to her chest bone and eventually to most of her organs.

“[DeMille] stuck with her through all of this and he really took care of her,” said Walter. “He’s a tremendous, tremendous guy.”

In addition to having the support of DeMille and her family and friends, Patty displayed incredible strength and resolve in tackling the cancer for a second time.

“The news was obviously devastating to her,” recalled Sullivan. “It was around Thanksgiving and I remember her calling and telling me. She was bummed about it, but basically this girl never gave up. I mean, she was never going to give in to it, and she was willing to do anything the doctors told her to do.”

Patty would later undergo two brain surgeries as well as several chemotherapy regimens, but the cancer continued to spread, impairing her ability to walk and limiting the use of her hands.

“They’ve had to wrestle with all of that — with the cancer, the radiation, the chemo,” said Walter. “It’s been horrendous. She even got on some experimental chemo, but it didn’t work.”

By last spring, Patty’s condition had worsened to the point that she could no longer remain at home. She was transported to Southeast Rehabilitation in Easton, although she continued to fight and her goal was always to get back home, according to Sullivan.

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Three weeks have now passed since Walter and Peg Molis said goodbye to their youngest daughter, and the pain is still raw and at times overwhelming.

“There’s nothing like it; there’s nothing like it,” Peg said of losing a child. “It’s just terrible. You can’t say, ‘Well, God took her. She was in pain’ and all this. I didn’t want to listen to that. Because I knew what she was like and I knew she suffered and I knew I wanted her not to suffer, but when she died, oh boy I cried and I cried.”

Peg, who has endured multiple bouts of breast cancer herself, said she initially felt guilty upon learning of Patty’s diagnosis.

Patty with her parents, Peg and Walter Molis

“When she got it I was so upset because I thought, well, did I give it to her, you know?” she said. “But it wasn’t the same [type of breast] cancer.”

Mostly, Peg and Walter try to focus on the good times they had with Patty and how proud they are of all that she has achieved.

Walter noted how Patty, who attended Blue Hills Regional — following in the footsteps of her brother Michael and sister Cathy — was the first female class president (BHR ’79) in school history and was an active participant in the school’s annual Showboat musical production.

“Once you talked to Patty, you were her friend for life,” beamed Walter. “She’d do anything for you.”

“She had the best personality,” added Peg, “and she didn’t put it on for show. This was Patty, you know.”

And yet as proud as they were, both parents said they were floored by how massive the turnout was at Patty’s wake and especially at her funeral, which was held at St. Ann’s.

“It’s the first time that I’ve ever seen a church with standing room only,” remarked Walter, who has participated in countless funerals as a member of the Canton Veterans Honor Guard.

Sullivan noted how the priest, who had worked closely with Patty for years, was visibly emotional as he presided over the service. “It was just so poignant,” she said. “I’ve never been to a [funeral] service before where the priest almost broke down.”

Walter said that another one of Patty’s childhood friends from Canton, Tracey (Sawtelle) Bailey-Gates, gave the eulogy and did a beautiful job, and Walter read the “Good Morning God” prayer, which he used to read to Patty every time he visited her.

At the end of the day, Walter said that the turnout at the church meant so much because it served as a “testimony to the way she lived.”

“I was in awe at all the people she touched that I didn’t know,” he said, “and this showed me just how much more she was.”

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. To learn more, go to www.nationalbreastcancer.org.

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Posted by Jay Turner on Oct 30 2014. Filed under Features. Both comments and pings are currently closed.