Father’s Day ceremony to honor ‘great dad’ Tom Gunning

This coming Sunday, June 19, as families around the world celebrate the fathers and father figures in their lives, the Canton community will gather at Windsor Woods field to celebrate the life and legacy of one of their own, Thomas J. Gunning, a dedicated community member and an adored father of three.

Gunning, a lifelong Canton resident, was tending to an outdoor ice rink in his backyard following a February 5 snowstorm when he was struck and killed by a falling tree limb. He was just 48 years old.

Prior to his death, he had devoted countless hours as a coach and volunteer for Canton Youth Hockey and Canton Youth Lacrosse, and he donated generously to both organizations while also helping to grow the latter through his leadership as its president.

To commemorate Gunning’s many contributions to youth sports — and to recognize specifically his contributions to CYL as a president and a coach, the Canton Parks and Recreation Department will proudly dedicate the Tom Gunning Field in a public ceremony starting at 12 noon. The field, which is used for both soccer and lacrosse, is located off Route 138 on Windsor Woods Lane.

The Parks and Recreation staff had asked Tom’s wife, Kristen, which date she would prefer, and she felt that Sunday would be especially fitting for a man who put his sons above all else.

“I just thought that Father’s Day would be a perfect day to honor Tom because he was such a great dad,” she said. “And I also thought it would be good for my children because it would be a happy day.”

***

There is a natural human tendency to lionize the dead, particularly those whose lives are cut short by tragedy. Good men become great; the honest and hardworking become remarkable, heroic even.

And yet, by all accounts, Tom Gunning truly was one of the great ones — successful yet selfless, universally beloved and respected, that rare breed of man who was able to achieve balance in his work, home and community life.

“He was just a great guy,” said Kristen, a fellow Cantonite who first met Tom when she was 13. “He was very giving to everybody and was always lending a hand, not just with his finances but with his time. Whether it was coaching or volunteering at the kids’ school (St. John’s), Tom didn’t think anything of helping out anybody. I still hear things now that he’s done that I didn’t even know about.”

In addition to the countless hours he gave to the youth hockey and lacrosse programs as a coach and administrator, Tom also built a successful sheet metal business, Quality Air Metals, Inc., and he faithfully served his church as a Eucharistic minister.

But it was his achievements as a husband and a father that ultimately defined the man.

The Gunning family on a recent trip to Ireland

To his oldest son Brendan, 16, Tom was a coach, a friend, and most importantly, a great dad. A goalie in hockey, Brendan loved playing for his father and especially loved the praise he would receive after a good game.

His middle son, Shane, 13, will remember him as “generous, independent and thoughtful,” and he will always cherish the fun times that they had on family vacations, including golfing together last summer in Ireland.

And to his youngest, Owen, 12, Tom was “fun, awesome and kind,” and Owen, too, will remember the happy times they shared together, his favorite being this year’s “Winter Classic” between the Bruins and Canadiens at Gillette Stadium.

“Tom was a wonderful father,” echoed Kristen. “He spent a lot of time with our kids, and we went on a lot of wonderful vacations. He wasn’t the type of dad who was all about himself; he was truly a family man.”

And Tom left no doubt about his feelings for his family because he showered them with love and was very outwardly affectionate, Kristen said.

“Some dads think it’s too macho or whatever, but that’s just the type of dad Tom was – he was just that warm, friendly guy, and I’m so happy for my kids that they have that.”

***

It has been four and a half months since Tom passed away, and yet to Kristen, it feels like both an instant and an eternity — almost as if time itself has been warped.

“I just keep saying to myself, ‘It’s so unreal. It’s just so crazy that this happened to him,’” she said. “I feel like the people that need him the most are his children, and the fact that he’s not going to be there is still so hard to fathom.”

Kristen said she is doing the best she can and she’s determined to stay strong for the sake of her boys. But there are moments when she is alone and the enormity of Tom’s loss simply overwhelms her.

Mostly, though, she just feels sad. “If someone were to ask me how I am, I’d say I’m sad. That is my definition of how I feel. I’m sad because I miss him.”

As for her boys, Kristen said they are all doing as well as can be expected, although each one is different and is processing grief in his own way.

“It’s still so new and it’s just one of those things where you can’t imagine living the rest of your life without him,” Kristen said. “And it’s extremely hard because it was such a freak, crazy thing.”

To Kristen, there was a poignancy and a kind of sad irony in the fact that Tom died on their backyard rink — an impressive, hand-built structure that reflected both his love for hockey and the love he had for his boys.

For as much as Tom gave to the youth lacrosse program and as much as the kids enjoyed other sports, hockey was always “number one” to the Gunnings.

“Tom was a very big part of Canton Youth Hockey and he still played hockey on the Canton Legends team,” Kristen said. “We all truly love hockey, and Tom was a great fan as well as a great coach.”

Tom’s love and passion for hockey also extended to their rink, which has real boards and big lights and all of the trappings of a real hockey rink. And while Kristen wishes he would have heeded the town’s warning and stayed inside following the snowstorm that evening, she said it was certainly not unusual for Tom to be outside at 11:30 p.m. watering down the ice.

It was around that time when a neighbor heard the tree limb snap, and when Kristen ran out back to look for Tom she found him unconscious, submerged under the water.

“It’s an image I’ll never forget,” she said. “I lifted him up out of the water, and although I couldn’t save him, I felt that there was no one more fitting to do it than me because I was his wife. It was almost my honor to do that.”

***

When Kristen and the boys gather on Sunday with their family and friends for the dedication of Tom Gunning Field, they will remember a man who was the center of their universe and someone who was an equally beloved colleague, brother, and son.

It will almost certainly be emotional, and at times it might be hard. Then again, said Kristen, there is “nothing harder than losing him.”

Besides, she said, tributes like these are good for their boys, for it allows them to see how special he was and “how much everybody else loved him as well.”

Kristen said the support from the community has just been incredible, and she is eternally grateful for all of the well-wishes, kind gestures, and the impressive fundraising efforts to benefit the scholarship fund that has been established in Tom’s honor.

Kristen also wanted to thank the organizers of the Canton Memorial Bow Project, who covered the town in green and pink bows throughout the month of February in honor of both Tom and Luce kindergartener Kaleigh Kenyon.

“I thought it was wonderful,” she said, “and there were so many people involved in that who I don’t know and didn’t know Tom. I just thought it was so nice that so many people came out to support both of our families.”

At the same time, Kristen said she does not want her husband’s passing to overshadow any of the other tragic losses that this community has endured this year, including the deaths of fellow Canton Youth Hockey coaches Patrick Walsh, 48, and Steven Staffiere, 53.

Both Walsh and Staffiere, like Tom, were beloved community members and dedicated fathers, and on this Father’s Day, Kristen hopes that people will take a moment to remember all three men as well as David Kenyon, the still-grieving father of 6-year-old Kaleigh.

Kristen said their losses are all deeply felt, and if there was a way to wish them back, she would do so in a heartbeat.

“But sadly,” she said, “there’s not much you can do you. You just have to pray that God helps us, that’s all.”

Short URL: https://www.thecantoncitizen.com/?p=33573

Posted by Jay Turner on Jun 17 2016. Filed under Features. Both comments and pings are currently closed.