MAC: Bullying must be stopped

By Joe DeFelice

Middle school, grades 6, 7 and 8, is tough for almost everyone. It is a time for boys and girls when hormones, social pressure, and insecurity collide; but the worst part of this time is the bullying that goes on in the schools.

Bullying is very serious and must be recognized and stopped as soon as possible. It cannot be tolerated. It comes in many different forms. If it is your child that is a victim of a bully or bullies and is intimidated, afraid to go to school, harassed by others either in person or online or via any method, it is not only traumatic for the child but also heartbreaking as a parent to see your child constantly hurt, humiliated, and embarrassed.

While the correct thing to do is to contact a teacher or principal, many times it is ignored or nothing is done to stop it. In fact, during a recent poll, teachers said they only get involved in stopping bullying in about 4 percent of instances, and 25 percent of teachers do not even find a problem with bullying.

So where do you go? The principal of the school, the school superintendent, a guidance counselor, a personnel officer? Bullying typically does not stop on its own. Do not allow it to continue. The law protects you and your child from retaliation. The law works, but you must make sure the school deals with the problem correctly.

The definition of bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. It can include verbal harassment or threats, physical assaults, and such acts may be directed repeatedly toward a particular target.

Bullying is divided into four basic types of abuse: emotional, verbal, physical, and cyber. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. It ranges from one-on-one, individual bullying to group bullying called “mobbing” in which the main bully may have one or more “lieutenants” who seem more than willing to assist him or her in their bullying activities.

Bullying at the middle school is also referred to as peer abuse, and believe me, it goes on here in Canton. It involves more than one aggression, often orchestrated by a leader who is a skilled manipulator. In one instance, students isolated a victim by collectively avoiding her while at school, picking her last for gym teams, and acting as if she wasn’t there. Before that, of course, there were threats, online abuse, and continuous snide and rude remarks. Bringing it to the attention of the principal only led to complete isolation.

So how can you stop it? MAC doesn’t even have an answer and he is sure that there are answers out there. Just remember, the definition of “bullying” is the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual physical, mentally, or emotionally. It is the parents’ responsibility to teach their children not to be bullies and to notice if they are and stop it.

Unfortunately, between kindergarten and the 12th grade, one in seven students will be the victim of bullying. If your child is being bullied, speak up and stop it, or at least try to. If your child is a bully, talk to them, teach them to treat others the way they want to be treated because many times the bully becomes the bullied. There is nothing worse than watching your child come home from school in tears and constantly upset because of what is happening at school. If we all work together, bullying can be stopped.

Joe DeFelice can be reached at manaboutcanton@aol.com.

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