Michael … Forever in My Heart
By GuestBy Harriet Burak, CAASA member
Today it has become very common for young girls to have their ears pierced. In some cultures even, many baby girls have their ears pierced before they are old enough to walk. Not so in my case. I was in my late 30s, and a mother of three, before I decided to go that route. Since then, earrings have become part of my wardrobe and, you might say, I never leave home without them. On the very rare occasion that I forget to put earrings on, I feel that I have left the house “undressed” or “incomplete.”
So what does any of this have to do with this article that I write every year? You see, September 9 is this Sunday and it marks the 14th anniversary of the passing of my son, Michael, from a heroin overdose. Just after Michael died, I attended my first meeting of Compassionate Friends, a worldwide organization made up of parents and siblings who have lost loved ones. At this meeting, I received, and put on, a blue rubber-band bracelet with white lettering that said “Forever In My Heart.” It expressed for me exactly what I was feeling towards my son, who had been taken from me in body, but never from me in spirit.
Just as my earrings have become a part of who I am, so too did this bracelet. I never took it off — not in the shower, not when I went to the beach, nor when I worked in my garden. Not when I dressed up and wore my finest gold jewelry. As long as I wore this bracelet, I felt my son was with me. Then the unthinkable happened: the band snapped. I tried fixing it to no avail. I went on the Internet and ordered another, and a second one “just in case.” I knew that the new one would come in the mail, but for the time being I no longer was wearing it and that hurt. Yes, I realized that Michael was in my heart whether or not I wore that bracelet; but having it on had been a comfort for me and a reminder that he was with me.
Last week at the annual Celebration of Life presented by the Canton Alliance Against Substance Abuse, I put on another bracelet. It wasn’t the same blue “Forever In My Heart” bracelet. This purple rubber band with white letters says, “Time to Remember. Time To Act. 31 August. International Overdose Awareness Day.” Wow!
A lot has happened in the past 14 years in the world of substance abuse. Back then as Michael struggled with the disease of addiction, many people did not recognize that it was a disease. Looking back, I am not sure that I did. Some thought it to be a “moral failing” and the results of a bad choice. It was even considered to be the family’s fault. That stigma prevented Michael from seeking the help from us, his family, that he so deserved. Shame and fear surrounded him and us. And so we didn’t talk about it with our friends and family, and if we did, it was done in whispers.
Back then, I could never have envisioned that there would come a day set aside as International Overdose Awareness Day. A day set aside not only to remember; but to act. Yes, once my blue “Forever In My Heart” bracelet comes in the mail, I will put it on and will continue to wear it. But I recognize that it is not enough to remember my Michael. I must act. We must act and that we are doing.
We now have a monthly “Drop-In Center” in Canton providing information, resources, help to individuals and families affected by substance use disorder.
The Norfolk County Prescription Drug Task Force has put together a tool kit for those who provide pediatric care hoping that information sharing will help prevent substance use, addiction and overdose among young people in Norfolk County. A goal is to promote good decision-making among our youth.
Boston Children’s Hospital has an Adolescent Substance Abuse Program. Brigham & Women’s Hospital, as part of their Access Brigham Health, has a fall and spring series that not only offers information on “Unraveling the mysteries of Allergies and Asthma,” but also “Addressing the Opioid Crisis … Novel approaches to fighting the epidemic in Boston and beyond.”
On Thursday, September 20, at 4 p.m., Carol Girard from the Department of Public Health’s Bureau of Substance Addiction Programs will present a program at the Canton Senior Center entitled “Alcohol and Drug Use and Misuse Among Older Adults.”
A summit in Westborough on October 26 will address “The New Look of Nicotine Addiction” while at the same time addressing “Substance Abuse Prevention.”
Monthly meetings at the Norfolk County District Attorney’s office continue to draw the many coalitions throughout the county who share their ideas for working within our communities with the goal of prevention, intervention, treatment and recovery.
It is because of my son, and others like him who lost their battles in the war against addiction, that we continue to fight. This battle is no longer “behind closed doors.” It is no longer spoken about in whispers. We continue to teach that addiction is an illness, and more are beginning to understand that this is what it is. Our children paid the ultimate sacrifice. I will soon be wearing two bracelets on my wrist. Yes, Michael will be “Forever In My Heart.” I will remember and I will act. That will always be a constant.
Our ultimate goal is prevention; however, we must continue to work towards intervention, treatment and recovery. I believe that we are on the right path and together we can make this a reality. We owe this to our children, those lost to overdose, and those who are struggling. As Michael’s mother, I am committed to doing just that.
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